人到中年约会难 | 口语小本本spoken.cc

[00:00.00]I tried dating a bunch this year. 
[00:01.84]I went on two Zoom dates, everybody. 
[00:04.23]Yeah. It didn't work out. 
[00:07.47]There was a bad connection. 
[00:08.83]Thank you so much. 
[00:09.66]Yes, it was a dad joke, 
[00:11.31]but I look like a dad, so shut up! 
[00:13.18]I went on a date with a girl from Bumble. 
[00:15.55]And after the date, 
[00:16.60]I knew we wouldn't meet up again. 
[00:17.89]But I wanted to be nice about it. 
[00:19.25]so I wrote her a message. I said, 
[00:20.59]"Hey, thanks so much for meeting up." 
[00:22.25]You know, "Have a good one."
[00:23.11]And she wrote back, 
[00:24.19]"Yes, very enjoyable meeting you, as well. 
[00:27.40]Good luck on all your future endeavors."
[00:29.81]And I was like, 
[00:30.74]"Did I just get fired from a date?" 
[00:32.23]"does Bumble have an HR department? "
[00:34.77]'Cause I still want to do, like, normal life. 
[00:36.87]I want to have kids. But I'm over 40. 
[00:39.28]And if you're over 40 
[00:40.21]and you don't have kids, you just 
[00:42.10]become the weird guy around kids.
[00:44.57]Like, if I met your kids, I'd be like, "Hello!" 
[00:47.26]I'd be like, "How are you?" 
[00:49.14]Like, not in a messed up way. 
[00:50.90]I just like kids.
[00:52.34]And the other day, I walked out of a store, 
[00:54.15]and I see these parents with their toddler. 
[00:55.86]And the toddler is, 
[00:56.89]like, screaming his head off, crying, right.
[00:58.67]So I think I'm going to help. 
[01:00.15]And I go, "What's the matter?" 
[01:01.90]Like, thinking he'll turn around and go, 
[01:03.82]"I'm a toddler. I'm tired. 
[01:04.86]Don't worry about it."
[01:05.98]But he doesn't. He turns around, 
[01:07.69]and he goes like this. 
[01:08.72]Like, "Pick me up" kind of thing. 
[01:09.99]So now I'm like, 
[01:11.80]"Do I pick up this strange baby? 
[01:13.24]In the middle of New York City?"
[01:15.00]And I look at the dad for, 
[01:16.61]like, permission to hug the baby. 
[01:18.35]I go, "Can I hug your baby?" 
[01:19.40]He's like, "Yeah, I guess. 
[01:20.73]I don't know. Go ahead."
[01:21.68]Which is such a dad response. 
[01:23.65]If it was a mom, she'd be like, 
[01:25.50]"I need three forms of ID. and a phone bill 
[01:28.25]before you look at my kid."
[01:29.72]A dad is like, 
[01:30.80]"I don't even know if it's my kid." 
[01:32.78]So this is totally true. 
[01:34.60]So I did, I picked up the baby.
[01:35.74]And I ran as fast as I could. 
[01:37.81]I ran and I ran and I ran. 
[01:40.12]And now I'm raising a baby! 
[01:41.83]That's actually not true.
[01:43.90]The real ending of that story is 
[01:45.48]I picked up the baby and we both 
[01:46.95]looked at each other 
[01:47.78]like we shouldn't be doing this, 
[01:48.75]and I put the baby down. 
[01:49.53]Thank you so much, everybody. 
[01:51.70]I'm Sean Donnelly. Good night. Thank you.

人到中年约会难

疫情之下我用app约会也找不到对象，我很喜欢孩子。

Sean Donnelly is a- Married at first sight (Mafs) star. His personality is like that of a next-door guy who loves to hang out with mates & beer is his choice of beverage.
肖恩·唐纳利是一位“一见钟情”的明星。他的性格就像一个喜欢和朋友出去玩的邻居，啤酒是他喜欢的饮料。

tags: 单口脱口喜剧唐纳利

主要角色

肖恩·唐纳利 Sean Donnelly
影视兼脱口秀演员

内容

英中
中英
盲听

1

I tried dating a bunch this year. I went on two Zoom dates⁽¹⁾, everybody. Yeah. It didn't work out. There was a bad connection. Thank you so much. Yes, it was a dad joke, but I look like a dad, so shut up!

显示译文▼

我今年试着跟很多人约会。我视频约会过两次，伙计们。是的。但没有成功。信号不好。非常感谢。是的，这（信号不好）是爸爸级的玩笑，不过我看起来真像个老爸，所以不要再提了！
⁽¹⁾Zoom dating，疫情大流行后兴起的，通过一些交友APP视频见面的交友方式。

2

I went on a date with a girl from Bumble. And after the date, I knew we wouldn't meet up again.

显示译文▼

我在Bumble（国外流行的交友应用之一）和一个女孩约会了。约会之后，我知道我们不会再见面了。

3

But I wanted to be nice about it. so I wrote her a message. I said, "Hey, thanks so much for meeting up." You know, "Have a good one."

显示译文▼

但我想友善一点。所以我给她写了封信。我说，“嘿，非常感谢你能来见我。”你知道，“祝你玩得愉快。”

4

And she wrote back, "Yes, very enjoyable meeting you, as well. Good luck on all your future endeavors."

显示译文▼

她回复说:“是的，我也很高兴见到你。祝你以后的努力都不会白费。”

5

And I was like, "Did I just get fired from a date?" "does Bumble have an HR department? "

显示译文▼

我说“（你说的倒好听）我刚才还不是和你约会后被炒鱿鱼了？”她（没听懂）问“Bumble约会软件还有人力资源部吗？”

6

'Cause I still want to do, like, normal life. I want to have kids. But I'm over 40. And if you're over 40 and you don't have kids, you just become the weird guy around kids.

显示译文▼

因为我还是想过正常的生活，我想要孩子。但我已经40多岁了。如果你已经40多岁了，还没有孩子，你就会成为孩子们身边的怪人。

7

Like, if I met your kids, I'd be like, "Hello!" I'd be like, "How are you?" Like, not in a messed up way. I just like kids.

显示译文▼

比方说，如果我遇到你的孩子，我会说：“你好”、“你过得好吗?”不是搞得一团糟。我只是喜欢孩子。

8

And the other day, I walked out of a store, and I see these parents with their toddler. And the toddler is, like, screaming his head off, crying, right.

显示译文▼

有一天，我走出一家商店，看到这些父母带着他们的孩子。那个蹒跚学步的孩子，尖叫着，哭着，对吧。

9

help. And I go, "What's the matter?" Like, thinking he'll turn around and go, "I'm a toddler. I'm tired. Don't worry about it."

显示译文▼

所以我想我要帮忙。我问，“怎么了?”以为宝宝会转过身说，“我还是个蹒跚学步的孩子。我只是累了。别担心我。”

10

But he doesn't. He turns around, and he goes like this. Like, "Pick me up" kind of thing. So now I'm like, "Do I pick up this strange baby? In the middle of New York City?"

显示译文▼

但他不喜欢那么做。他转过身来，像这样，做了个比如“来接我”之类的动作。现在我就想“我该在纽约市中心抱起这个奇怪的婴儿吗？”

11

And I look at the dad for, like, permission to hug the baby. I go, "Can I hug your baby?" He's like, "Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Go ahead."

显示译文▼

我看着他的爸爸，想要得到拥抱孩子的许可。我说“我能抱抱你的宝宝吗？”他说:“是的，我想可以。我不知道。你抱吧。”

12

Which is such a dad response. If it was a mom, she'd be like, "I need three forms of ID. and a phone bill before you look at my kid."

显示译文▼

这才是真正的父亲式回应。如果是母亲，她会说，“我需要三张身份证明和电话账单，你才能看我的孩子。”

13

A dad is like, "I don't even know if it's my kid." So this is totally true. So I did, I picked up the baby.

显示译文▼

父亲会说“我都不知道那是不是我的孩子。”这是完全正确的。我照做了，我抱起了孩子。

14

And I ran as fast as I could. I ran and I ran and I ran. And now I'm raising a baby! That's actually not true.

显示译文▼

我以最快的速度跑着。我跑啊跑啊跑。现在我要养孩子了！其实这不是真的，纯属玩笑。

15

The real ending of that story is I picked up the baby and we both looked at each other like we shouldn't be doing this, and I put the baby down. Thank you so much, everybody. I'm Sean Donnelly. Good night. Thank you.

显示译文▼

故事的真正结局是我抱起孩子我们看着对方好像我们不该这样做，然后我把孩子放下。非常感谢大家。我是肖恩·唐纳利。晚安，各位。谢谢你！

1

我今年试着跟很多人约会。我视频约会过两次，伙计们。是的。但没有成功。信号不好。非常感谢。是的，这（信号不好）是爸爸级的玩笑，不过我看起来真像个老爸，所以不要再提了！

显示原文▼

I tried dating a bunch this year. I went on two Zoom dates⁽¹⁾, everybody. Yeah. It didn't work out. There was a bad connection. Thank you so much. Yes, it was a dad joke, but I look like a dad, so shut up!
⁽¹⁾Zoom dating，疫情大流行后兴起的，通过一些交友APP视频见面的交友方式。

2

我在Bumble（国外流行的交友应用之一）和一个女孩约会了。约会之后，我知道我们不会再见面了。

显示原文▼

I went on a date with a girl from Bumble. And after the date, I knew we wouldn't meet up again.

3

但我想友善一点。所以我给她写了封信。我说，“嘿，非常感谢你能来见我。”你知道，“祝你玩得愉快。”

显示原文▼

But I wanted to be nice about it. so I wrote her a message. I said, "Hey, thanks so much for meeting up." You know, "Have a good one."

4

她回复说:“是的，我也很高兴见到你。祝你以后的努力都不会白费。”

显示原文▼

And she wrote back, "Yes, very enjoyable meeting you, as well. Good luck on all your future endeavors."

5

我说“（你说的倒好听）我刚才还不是和你约会后被炒鱿鱼了？”她（没听懂）问“Bumble约会软件还有人力资源部吗？”

显示原文▼

And I was like, "Did I just get fired from a date?" "does Bumble have an HR department? "

6

因为我还是想过正常的生活，我想要孩子。但我已经40多岁了。如果你已经40多岁了，还没有孩子，你就会成为孩子们身边的怪人。

显示原文▼

'Cause I still want to do, like, normal life. I want to have kids. But I'm over 40. And if you're over 40 and you don't have kids, you just become the weird guy around kids.

7

比方说，如果我遇到你的孩子，我会说：“你好”、“你过得好吗?”不是搞得一团糟。我只是喜欢孩子。

显示原文▼

Like, if I met your kids, I'd be like, "Hello!" I'd be like, "How are you?" Like, not in a messed up way. I just like kids.

8

有一天，我走出一家商店，看到这些父母带着他们的孩子。那个蹒跚学步的孩子，尖叫着，哭着，对吧。

显示原文▼

And the other day, I walked out of a store, and I see these parents with their toddler. And the toddler is, like, screaming his head off, crying, right.

9

所以我想我要帮忙。我问，“怎么了?”以为宝宝会转过身说，“我还是个蹒跚学步的孩子。我只是累了。别担心我。”

显示原文▼

help. And I go, "What's the matter?" Like, thinking he'll turn around and go, "I'm a toddler. I'm tired. Don't worry about it."

10

但他不喜欢那么做。他转过身来，像这样，做了个比如“来接我”之类的动作。现在我就想“我该在纽约市中心抱起这个奇怪的婴儿吗？”

显示原文▼

But he doesn't. He turns around, and he goes like this. Like, "Pick me up" kind of thing. So now I'm like, "Do I pick up this strange baby? In the middle of New York City?"

11

我看着他的爸爸，想要得到拥抱孩子的许可。我说“我能抱抱你的宝宝吗？”他说:“是的，我想可以。我不知道。你抱吧。”

显示原文▼

And I look at the dad for, like, permission to hug the baby. I go, "Can I hug your baby?" He's like, "Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Go ahead."

12

这才是真正的父亲式回应。如果是母亲，她会说，“我需要三张身份证明和电话账单，你才能看我的孩子。”

显示原文▼

Which is such a dad response. If it was a mom, she'd be like, "I need three forms of ID. and a phone bill before you look at my kid."

13

父亲会说“我都不知道那是不是我的孩子。”这是完全正确的。我照做了，我抱起了孩子。

显示原文▼

A dad is like, "I don't even know if it's my kid." So this is totally true. So I did, I picked up the baby.

14

我以最快的速度跑着。我跑啊跑啊跑。现在我要养孩子了！其实这不是真的，纯属玩笑。

显示原文▼

And I ran as fast as I could. I ran and I ran and I ran. And now I'm raising a baby! That's actually not true.

15

故事的真正结局是我抱起孩子我们看着对方好像我们不该这样做，然后我把孩子放下。非常感谢大家。我是肖恩·唐纳利。晚安，各位。谢谢你！

显示原文▼

The real ending of that story is I picked up the baby and we both looked at each other like we shouldn't be doing this, and I put the baby down. Thank you so much, everybody. I'm Sean Donnelly. Good night. Thank you.

1

I tried dating a bunch this year. I went on two Zoom dates⁽¹⁾, everybody. Yeah. It didn't work out. There was a bad connection. Thank you so much. Yes, it was a dad joke, but I look like a dad, so shut up!
2

I went on a date with a girl from Bumble. And after the date, I knew we wouldn't meet up again.
3

But I wanted to be nice about it. so I wrote her a message. I said, "Hey, thanks so much for meeting up." You know, "Have a good one."
4

And she wrote back, "Yes, very enjoyable meeting you, as well. Good luck on all your future endeavors."
5

And I was like, "Did I just get fired from a date?" "does Bumble have an HR department? "
6

'Cause I still want to do, like, normal life. I want to have kids. But I'm over 40. And if you're over 40 and you don't have kids, you just become the weird guy around kids.
7

Like, if I met your kids, I'd be like, "Hello!" I'd be like, "How are you?" Like, not in a messed up way. I just like kids.
8

And the other day, I walked out of a store, and I see these parents with their toddler. And the toddler is, like, screaming his head off, crying, right.
9

help. And I go, "What's the matter?" Like, thinking he'll turn around and go, "I'm a toddler. I'm tired. Don't worry about it."
10

But he doesn't. He turns around, and he goes like this. Like, "Pick me up" kind of thing. So now I'm like, "Do I pick up this strange baby? In the middle of New York City?"
11

And I look at the dad for, like, permission to hug the baby. I go, "Can I hug your baby?" He's like, "Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Go ahead."
12

Which is such a dad response. If it was a mom, she'd be like, "I need three forms of ID. and a phone bill before you look at my kid."
13

A dad is like, "I don't even know if it's my kid." So this is totally true. So I did, I picked up the baby.
14

And I ran as fast as I could. I ran and I ran and I ran. And now I'm raising a baby! That's actually not true.
15

The real ending of that story is I picked up the baby and we both looked at each other like we shouldn't be doing this, and I put the baby down. Thank you so much, everybody. I'm Sean Donnelly. Good night. Thank you.