People with cats and dogs are funny man, how many people don't like cats? clap if you don't like cats, how does that feel?

Raise your hand if you're one of the people who said you don't like cats, why don't you like cats? - There's no purpose. - There's no purpose right? the no purpose? really?

How evil is this guy? like the cat's purpose is to serve him, like, "I'm here for you. Meow!" right? what do you mean? No purpose!

These are the things that people say when you ask them about a cat, "I like cats, I like dogs too!" but when you ask someone a dog person like "Do you like cats?" like "No, I got a dog, there's no purpose for cats! right?"

It's like "I want to go back to the time when we could like two things remember we used to be able to like two things."

like "I like some Republican views, I like some Democrat views," Right? We could do that? "I like black people and I like police!" Remember we can do that? Remember that?

The world's changed, we have to only like one thing, forget that, man, and I like it, it's the funny thing, no like dogs.

The crazy thing with dogs and cats is this, like It's weird when you like yell out that you like a cat, not just putting this on, you don't say to anybody."

like If you're at a bar, it's almost like once you picture of my cat, you like "You're a freak, get away from me." But people will show you their puppy all day, right? but they can't, you can't pull out a cat in a bar.

But dude pulls out a cat picture at a party, like "He's a creep." "Get away from that weirdo with three cats on his phone." - "What's this dude doing?"

I have a friend who's always like "I don't like cats because they're mean, and because they don't listen to you, they do whatever they want to do, I feed it, I give it water, I should be able to pet it when I want to."

I'm like "really? it's not how it works." what if you wanted to your job every day and your boss was like "Steve command, yeah..." Well maybe a couple days we like "don't touch me today! I don't want any."

Cats just have personality. right? You can't bribe them with treats all the time, right? they like "Mouth, good!" right?

Somebody's dog you just pull the treat out, the dog can be fished on. "Whoo ..." This dog is really really well trained.

The dog like "Woof woof woof woof woof woof!" And you like "hey, look what I got? boy." he's like "Woops! let me run a bit real quick!" and you just talks to his owner like "I'm gonna go over here real quick and see, check that treat out, I'll be right back."

Trying to take somebody's cat like that, you treat other,the cats like "Meow! right? Walk away from it, put it on the ground and walk away from it! I'll come back and smell it, and decide if it's safe!" The dogs just like to you: "Oh! Ah! give it to me, give it to me, quick, fast!"

You can put a bowl of food and leave the cat for three days, a bowl of food, put water there, okay?

If the water evaporates or you drink so much, open the toilet do whatever you got to do, to put more water around the house. The cat will eat and drink for a week, the cat will be fine, there'll be food left when you come back, they can say "Wow how was your trip?" I think.

You do the same thing with a dog before you get up the block, that dogs like "Hey! Really? thought it was Thanksgiving, I had like five minutes, I thought it was a treat." He was so much in there one time, I thought it was a "Yeah. Oh!" Donkey's Christmas, all right? It's stupid!

Come back home, the dogs already eaten half the cow, "Hey, I was hungry, man, I thought, thought you were gone forever."