过度保护的妈妈 | 口语小本本spoken.cc

[00:00.00]Our next guest can be seen 
[00:01.55]at the New York Comedy Cellar 
[00:03.60]March 4th through the 6th.
[00:05.80]Making his "Tonight Show" debut, 
[00:06.71]please welcome the very funny 
[00:08.22]Eric Neumann, everybody.
[00:10.92]Thank you. Thank you so much. 
[00:12.90]How we feeling, guys? We good? 
[00:14.22]Oh. Oh, amazing. I'm so happy to be here.
[00:17.84]Actually, my mom's a 
[00:19.50]very overprotective mom, so to be honest, 
[00:21.32]I'm happy to be anywhere she is not.
[00:23.63]She's super overprotective. She'll like... 
[00:26.28]She'll text me when I'm out at night. 
[00:28.20]She'll be like, "Call me as soon as 
[00:29.15]you leave the bar. I'm worried 
[00:31.11]someone's gonna follow you home."
[00:32.61]I'm like, "Mom, the whole point of me 
[00:34.36]going out was to get someone 
[00:35.47]to follow me home."
[00:36.51]She'll call me in the middle of the night 
[00:38.41]to make sure I got home okay, 
[00:39.93]but if I don't answer the phone 
[00:41.24]because I'm busy, she'll call 
[00:41.90]one of my best friends looking for me.
[00:43.91]I'm 34. That's unacceptable. So finally, 
[00:47.31]I sat her down. I'm like, "Mom, you have 
[00:48.75]to stop calling my friends at 4:00 a.m. 
[00:51.00]You're gonna give them 
[00:51.79]the wrong impression."
[00:52.88]Right? 'Cause my friends are wasted 
[00:54.72]at 4:00 a.m. I don't trust them 
[00:55.91]talking to my mom on the phone at all.
[00:58.27]This is how I see the scenario 
[00:59.77]playing out in my head, all right? My mom 
[01:01.39]calls my best friend, Joe, at 4:00 a.m.
[01:02.96]She's like, "Hey, Joe, is Eric with you?" 
[01:04.91]Joe is like, "No, I'm all alone. 
[01:06.13]You want to come over?" 
[01:07.27]It's my worst nightmare. 
[01:08.40]Literally, my worst nightmare.

过度保护的妈妈

tags: 单口脱口喜剧诺伊曼

主要角色

埃里克·诺伊曼 Eric Neumann
美国脱口秀演员

内容

英中
中英
盲听

1

Our next guest can be seen at the New York Comedy Cellar⁽¹⁾ March 4th through the 6th.

显示译文▼

我们的下一位嘉宾将于3月4日至6日在纽约喜剧地下室举行。
⁽¹⁾Comedy Cellar，纽约曼哈顿戏剧地下室，最正宗的单口喜剧表演圣地。

2

Making his "Tonight Show" debut, please welcome the very funny Eric Neumann, everybody.

显示译文▼

这是他在《今夜秀》的首次亮相，让我们欢迎非常风趣的埃里克·诺伊曼。

3

Thank you. Thank you so much. How we feeling, guys? We good? Oh. Oh, amazing. I'm so happy to be here.

显示译文▼

谢谢你！非常感谢。感觉如何，伙计们？我们好吗？哦，实在太棒了。我很高兴来到这里。

4

Actually, my mom's a very overprotective mom, so to be honest, I'm happy to be anywhere she is not.

显示译文▼

事实上，我妈是个过度保护的妈妈，所以说实话，我很乐意去她不在的地方。

5

She's super overprotective. She'll like... She'll text me when I'm out at night. She'll be like, "Call me as soon as you leave the bar. I'm worried someone's gonna follow you home."

显示译文▼

她保护欲过强。她喜欢… 我晚上出去的时候她会给我发短信。她会说，“你一离开酒吧就给我打电话，我担心有人会跟踪你回家。”

6

I'm like, "Mom, the whole point of me going out was to get someone to follow me home."

显示译文▼

我这样说:“妈妈，我出去的重要目的就是找个人跟着我回家。”

7

She'll call me in the middle of the night to make sure I got home okay, but if I don't answer the phone because I'm busy, she'll call one of my best friends looking for me.

显示译文▼

她会在半夜给我打电话确保我平安到家，但如果我因为忙没接电话，她就会打电话给我最好的朋友找我。

8

I'm 34. That's unacceptable. So finally, I sat her down. I'm like, "Mom, you have to stop calling my friends at 4:00 a.m. You're gonna give them the wrong impression."

显示译文▼

我34了。这是不可接受的。所以最后，我让她坐下。我说“妈，你不能再凌晨四点给我朋友打电话了。你会给他们留下错误的印象。”

9

Right? 'Cause my friends are wasted at 4:00 a.m. I don't trust them talking to my mom on the phone at all.

显示译文▼

这没错吧？因为我的朋友们凌晨4点都喝醉了，我根本不相信他们跟我妈通电话。

10

This is how I see the scenario playing out in my head, all right? My mom calls my best friend, Joe, at 4:00 a.m.

显示译文▼

这是个在我脑海里上演的场景，好吗？我妈妈在凌晨四点给我最好的朋友乔打电话。

11

She's like, "Hey, Joe, is Eric with you?" Joe is like, "No, I'm all alone. You want to come over?" It's my worst nightmare. Literally, my worst nightmare.

显示译文▼

她说“乔，埃里克跟你在一起吗？”乔说:“不，我一个人。你想过来吗？”这是我最可怕的噩梦。真的是我最可怕的噩梦。

1

我们的下一位嘉宾将于3月4日至6日在纽约喜剧地下室举行。

显示原文▼

Our next guest can be seen at the New York Comedy Cellar⁽¹⁾ March 4th through the 6th.
⁽¹⁾Comedy Cellar，纽约曼哈顿戏剧地下室，最正宗的单口喜剧表演圣地。

2

这是他在《今夜秀》的首次亮相，让我们欢迎非常风趣的埃里克·诺伊曼。

显示原文▼

Making his "Tonight Show" debut, please welcome the very funny Eric Neumann, everybody.

3

谢谢你！非常感谢。感觉如何，伙计们？我们好吗？哦，实在太棒了。我很高兴来到这里。

显示原文▼

Thank you. Thank you so much. How we feeling, guys? We good? Oh. Oh, amazing. I'm so happy to be here.

4

事实上，我妈是个过度保护的妈妈，所以说实话，我很乐意去她不在的地方。

显示原文▼

Actually, my mom's a very overprotective mom, so to be honest, I'm happy to be anywhere she is not.

5

她保护欲过强。她喜欢… 我晚上出去的时候她会给我发短信。她会说，“你一离开酒吧就给我打电话，我担心有人会跟踪你回家。”

显示原文▼

She's super overprotective. She'll like... She'll text me when I'm out at night. She'll be like, "Call me as soon as you leave the bar. I'm worried someone's gonna follow you home."

6

我这样说:“妈妈，我出去的重要目的就是找个人跟着我回家。”

显示原文▼

I'm like, "Mom, the whole point of me going out was to get someone to follow me home."

7

她会在半夜给我打电话确保我平安到家，但如果我因为忙没接电话，她就会打电话给我最好的朋友找我。

显示原文▼

She'll call me in the middle of the night to make sure I got home okay, but if I don't answer the phone because I'm busy, she'll call one of my best friends looking for me.

8

我34了。这是不可接受的。所以最后，我让她坐下。我说“妈，你不能再凌晨四点给我朋友打电话了。你会给他们留下错误的印象。”

显示原文▼

I'm 34. That's unacceptable. So finally, I sat her down. I'm like, "Mom, you have to stop calling my friends at 4:00 a.m. You're gonna give them the wrong impression."

9

这没错吧？因为我的朋友们凌晨4点都喝醉了，我根本不相信他们跟我妈通电话。

显示原文▼

Right? 'Cause my friends are wasted at 4:00 a.m. I don't trust them talking to my mom on the phone at all.

10

这是个在我脑海里上演的场景，好吗？我妈妈在凌晨四点给我最好的朋友乔打电话。

显示原文▼

This is how I see the scenario playing out in my head, all right? My mom calls my best friend, Joe, at 4:00 a.m.

11

她说“乔，埃里克跟你在一起吗？”乔说:“不，我一个人。你想过来吗？”这是我最可怕的噩梦。真的是我最可怕的噩梦。

显示原文▼

She's like, "Hey, Joe, is Eric with you?" Joe is like, "No, I'm all alone. You want to come over?" It's my worst nightmare. Literally, my worst nightmare.

1

Our next guest can be seen at the New York Comedy Cellar⁽¹⁾ March 4th through the 6th.
2

Making his "Tonight Show" debut, please welcome the very funny Eric Neumann, everybody.
3

Thank you. Thank you so much. How we feeling, guys? We good? Oh. Oh, amazing. I'm so happy to be here.
4

Actually, my mom's a very overprotective mom, so to be honest, I'm happy to be anywhere she is not.
5

She's super overprotective. She'll like... She'll text me when I'm out at night. She'll be like, "Call me as soon as you leave the bar. I'm worried someone's gonna follow you home."
6

I'm like, "Mom, the whole point of me going out was to get someone to follow me home."
7

She'll call me in the middle of the night to make sure I got home okay, but if I don't answer the phone because I'm busy, she'll call one of my best friends looking for me.
8

I'm 34. That's unacceptable. So finally, I sat her down. I'm like, "Mom, you have to stop calling my friends at 4:00 a.m. You're gonna give them the wrong impression."
9

Right? 'Cause my friends are wasted at 4:00 a.m. I don't trust them talking to my mom on the phone at all.
10

This is how I see the scenario playing out in my head, all right? My mom calls my best friend, Joe, at 4:00 a.m.
11

She's like, "Hey, Joe, is Eric with you?" Joe is like, "No, I'm all alone. You want to come over?" It's my worst nightmare. Literally, my worst nightmare.