Our next guest can be seen at the New York Comedy Cellar⁽¹⁾ March 4th through the 6th.
Making his "Tonight Show" debut, please welcome the very funny Eric Neumann, everybody.
Thank you. Thank you so much. How we feeling, guys? We good? Oh. Oh, amazing. I'm so happy to be here.
Actually, my mom's a very overprotective mom, so to be honest, I'm happy to be anywhere she is not.
She's super overprotective. She'll like... She'll text me when I'm out at night. She'll be like, "Call me as soon as you leave the bar. I'm worried someone's gonna follow you home."
I'm like, "Mom, the whole point of me going out was to get someone to follow me home."
She'll call me in the middle of the night to make sure I got home okay, but if I don't answer the phone because I'm busy, she'll call one of my best friends looking for me.
I'm 34. That's unacceptable. So finally, I sat her down. I'm like, "Mom, you have to stop calling my friends at 4:00 a.m. You're gonna give them the wrong impression."
Right? 'Cause my friends are wasted at 4:00 a.m. I don't trust them talking to my mom on the phone at all.
This is how I see the scenario playing out in my head, all right? My mom calls my best friend, Joe, at 4:00 a.m.
She's like, "Hey, Joe, is Eric with you?" Joe is like, "No, I'm all alone. You want to come over?" It's my worst nightmare. Literally, my worst nightmare.